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Work romances are not smart for any business
August 20, 2009
By Nikki Viljoen
Most of us spend more time at work than we do at home or with our loved ones. Certainly, for those who own their own businesses, this is very true. It stands to reason, therefore, that we spend more time with our colleagues than we do with our loved ones.
This means that we build relationships with the people we work with and, generally speaking, this is not a bad thing as it is great to work in an environment where people work together harmoniously.
The whole thing goes pear- shaped, though, when business relationships turn into intimate relationships.
Here's what happens: in the first flush of romance people become starry-eyed. They are constantly thinking of their dearly beloved and cannot focus. This is magnified should the object of their affections work with them.
Instead of having one person walking around the office with their head in the clouds, you now have two.
Should one or both parties be married, it makes it even worse as they try, usually unsuccessfully, to hide what they are up to - the knowing glances and whispered conversations usually give them away. I know of instances where the disparaged wife or husband has contacted the directors of the company to complain about what is happening during working hours - this is really not good for the image of the company and can damage its credibility.
Should one of the parties be a senior member of staff, and the other a junior member, unfair labour practices can take place when the junior member receives bigger increases or bonuses, or more time off and so on. In extreme situations the senior member of staff could be blackmailed.
If someone starts a love affair, particularly if they work in the same company, it jeopardises the harmony that has been prevalent in the office as another "presence" enters the arena. This "presence" upsets the rest of the staff as their working relationships have been built up over time. Moreover, it often causes underlying jealousies and tensions.
As with all good things, office intimate relationships very seldom stand the test of time and this is where things tend to be really unpleasant for all concerned. Emotions run high and often the rest of the staff or close colleagues are put into situations where they are expected to "take sides".
Productivity levels drop even further as energy is used up either trying to avoid the other person or attempting to solicit individuals to "your side", or even "ex-bashing", at every opportunity.
Usually, if the ending is really bad, one of the people has to leave and usually it is the woman. I know that this is not fair but this is the reality of the situation. Having an employee leave and having to replace that employee has a cost to the firm.
There are also situations where allegations of fraud and theft are bandied about when couples are working in different areas but for the same company.
There are instances, in my own experience, where a wife worked in a store and the husband worked in the warehouse. Security, regarding stock leaving the warehouse without proper documentation, was really tight but it was easy for the wife to leave the store with stock without it being noticed.
So the husband packed extra stock into a consignment that went to the store and the wife removed it undetected. Between the two they relieved the company of thousands of rands worth of stock.
Is it little wonder, then, that many of the big corporate companies have clauses written into their letters of appointment or policies expressly forbidding intimate relationships between staff?
Nikki Viljoen is an internal auditor and business administration specialist who can be contacted on 083 702 8849 or at nikki@viljoenconsulting.co.za or www.viljoenconsulting.co.za
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